Awarded the Top 100 Most Powerful Women in Canada (WXN & Financial Post), and Iconic Women Leaders of the Decade Envisioning a United World by the Women’s Global Economic Forum, Tanya Chernova is an engaging and charismatic expert in human behaviour, an award-winning speaker and business coach and #1 best-selling author who has inspired countless individuals in over 50 countries around the world.
Why do you think failure has a bad reputation?
I think failure has a bad reputation because it sucks when you don’t achieve what you want to. It can hurt, it makes you doubt yourself, others and the world. And like most things, failure is often misunderstood and we can’t help but take it personally.
What does failure mean to you?
If I get emotionally triggered, it can mean that perhaps I’m not worthy or good enough. In my book, UnderMind, I expose the seven subconscious beliefs that sabotage our lives and ask myself which one I might be operating from? Rationally, I see failure as a good teacher and look for the key learning. What do I need to heal, change or develop within myself to try again – in a different way?
What should we do when we fail?
Remind yourself when attempting something new, that failure is absolutely normal. See the big picture, be excited to learn, improve and keep on towards success. If it’s a mistake you’ve made before (a few times even), ask yourself why? What is your perception of the situation? What are you telling yourself about it that makes you respond this certain way? You have important subconscious core beliefs that determine every action you take. If you are responding to a situation from your survival strategies, they will sabotage your success while keeping you safe.
Failure is sometimes life’s way of redirecting your path. There have been times that I have tried with all my might to accomplish something and life would just not have it. In the past, I have forced my way, but paid the price. I’m a better listener now. If I see my efforts are not met with just the usual obstacles, I slow down to see what else life has in store. I reaffirm, “I trust the process of life to bring only good to me.” Then I look for the good in what it’s bringing. It’s important to consider that every success also introduces a new set of challenges. When I am facing extreme resistance, I might shift my goal from a specific target to a purposeful intention. I remind myself that my version of success will expand as my perception of life broadens.
What do you enjoy doing in your free time/what are your hobbies?
I love spending time with my family, creating grand adventures and mentoring women.
How would your friends describe you in 3 words or less?
Inspiring, powerful, vivacious.
What is your favourite TED/TEDx talk and why?
Kio Stark’s Why you should talk to strangers – I loved his powerful intro and how this passionate personal story and the idea he shared has actually become his life.
Esther Perel’s The secret to desire in a long-term relationship – because it answered important questions for me.
Carol Dweck’s The power of believing that you can improve – I enjoyed this talk because it really helps us move beyond the critical and sometimes fatalistic perfectionist mindset to celebrate the evolution of progress in both people and cultures.
What is something you can’t live without?
Travel. Our life is what we make it, but we live in the context of our environment. There is nothing more inspiring than to walk out into a whole new environment with different weather, culture, perspectives, food, experiences, topography, people and more. I am at once recharged and reconnected to myself, others and all life has to offer.
What are you most proud of?
My marriage. I have done a lot of personal growth to be in a place where I feel safe to be myself in a relationship. My husband and I are very different, but willing to understand each other and be supportive towards our needs. We have a beautiful son who is happy and feels his emotions are honoured because we are learning to embrace our own. I’m also proud of the difference I’ve made in the lives of others. I’m also really proud of the community of incredible people I have created in my life.
What is the role that conversation plays in your life?
My whole life is a series of conversations. I am a professional speaker and I’ve always said that it’s a dialogue, not a monologue, no matter what the size of audience. I’ve never been a small talker. I feel people’s energy. I can see when there’s something in their space and I’m loving yet fearless in my ability to ask the questions to open things up and really listen. Life is all in how we look at it. That’s why conversation is so vital. It gives way for others to share their point of view so we can come up with a new version that is workable in our lives and in our world. Life changing conversations are my intention in any room.
What is your personal philosophy?
Good things happen when you go for it. Lift as you climb and you will always be well surrounded and Don’t be afraid to be a giver.